Messages from a Nut Case

Being a single gal, I utelize all sorts of outlets to meet guys.  Most of them strip your soul bear and leave you wanting to buy a half a dozen cats... this means having profiles on dating sites.  True, none of them have been remotely successful or even satisfactory, but you got to do what you've got to do.  This was a recent guy, that I lovingly refer to as the Nut Case, that contacted me on one of these sites.


Message From: Nut Case 
Oct 23, 2011 – 11:51am
hi there how are you i like ur profile u seem nice n sweet would ulike to chat :):):)
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Message From: Nut Case 
Oct 23, 2011 – 11:53am
btw i absolutely love and adore dogs they are so cute and lovong :)
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From the Peanut Gallery:  Ok, I'm going to be the first to admit it, but I DO judge people who write emails like they're texting and don't know how to use spell check.  It makes me think that they're lazy and dumb.  It's a really big turn off for me.  I'm just being honest.  Put your back into it, would ya?

After reading this guy's profile, I wasn't excited about anything I saw in there - especially the grammar and spelling.  But hey, you just never know.
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Message From: Me
Oct 24, 2011 – 7:03pm
Hi there, 
Thanks for the message! Did you have a nice weekend? Do anything exciting? What kind of special ed kids do you work with? You're a dog lover huh? They're awesome. Have you ever thought of getting a dog? I hope you're having a nice evening. 
GramercyGal
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Message From: Nut Case 
Oct 26, 2011 – 5:23pm
im not on here much heres my # in case u wanna take a chance with me 1-XXX-XXX-XXXX anytime i hope i hear from u real soon:) 
Nut Case:)
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From the peanut gallery:  I'm not a fan of someone who doesn't respond to my initial message and then wants to talk on the phone.  Something about it makes me uneasy - like that he's illiterate.  I'd rather initiate the phone call or at least express that I'd like to talk to you.
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Message From: Nut Case
Oct 29, 2011 – 10:47am
thought i wouldve heard from u by now would love to chat 1-XXX-XXX-XXXX anytime:)
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From the peanut gallery: Yeah, I have a life and I never said I would call him or that I wanted to.  I was still on the fence about calling him anyway.  Hmm... a little needy.
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Message From: Me
Oct 31, 2011 – 7:07pm
Sorry! I've been super busy. I'm just taking a little break from work now. This week's a little nuts for me. I have to work late the next couple of nights and then I have family coming into town on Thursday through the weekend. What days are good to call next week?
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Later that night... about 9 pm

I decided to call him.  I had a little time until I had to go to my staff meeting, and I thought that was more than enough time to say hello or at least leave him a message.  He picked up and was obviously out on the town.  Admittedly, I couldn't find his name in the initial email, but I did apologize once I hesitated and I did eventually find it.   He didn't know who the hell I was either, so I was okay with this.  We laughed it off.

He couldn't talk right then but said he would text me the next day - for what I assumed was to plan a time to talk.  I said that I may have some free time the next evening to talk, but that I had a really busy week ahead of me and not much free time.  That was it.  The end.
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Text From: Nut Case
Nov 1, 2011 7:20 AM
Good mornin GramercyGal:)
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Text From: Me
Nov 1, 2011 8:03 AM
Morning!
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Text From: Nut Case
Nov 1, 2011 8:12 AM
Hi there beautiful.
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From the peanut gallery: Ugh.  Gag.  Really, dude??  You don't even know me.  That's creepy.
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Text From: Nut Case
Nov 1, 2011 5:26 PM
What happened 2u u tex me good mornin n that was it
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From the peanut gallery: It's that thing called work that I go to everyday.  It really cuts in to my texting time.
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Text From: Me
Nov 1, 2011 6:24 PM
Sorry, I'm just not comfortable with us texting to get to know each other. Its not very organic to me. I'd rather talk on the phone. As I said before, I'm more available next week.
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From the peanut gallery: And then this happened...
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Text From: Nut Case
Nov 1, 2011 6:42 PM
Excuse me u call me after a week after i leave u my number when u only have a few min 2talk and now u wnt tex with me cuz its not organic but u cant call me Till next week thats nuts
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Text From: Me
Nov 1, 2011 7:51 PM
Good luck to you.
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Text From: Nut Case
Nov 1, 2011 10:06 PM
Excuse me u call me after a week after i leave u my number when u only have a few min 2talk and now u wnt tex with me cuz its not organic but u cant call me Till next week thats nuts
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From the peanut gallery: Apparently it bared repeating.  Hmm.
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Text From: Nut Case
Nov 1, 2011 10:12 PM
Wow u must have a split personality u have nere u wait a week 2 call me cant even remember my name then can only talk 4 a few min then u wnt tex n say ull call me next week UR A FUCKIN FREAK ASS CRAZY NUT WOW  goodluck 2u
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From the peanut gallery: Wow, clearly this was the one I let get away... what a catch!  At least I didn't have to spend any time with him... or even talk to him.  They seem to be going crazier on me at a rapid rate, which honestly saves me a boat load of time!

Pathetic Guy Chronicles: Restraining order, anyone?

O-M-G! There are no words.

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From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Wed, Aug 10 at 2:29 PM
Hi, would like to resume talking, at least via email for now.

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From the Peanut Gallery: Um… uh... wha... Crazy muther f@*ker!

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From: Me
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 4:26 PM
Pathetic Guy, what the hell?? I cannot figure out why you absolutely refuse to accept all of this! I don’t want to be friends with you. And that includes any activities that fall under a friendship, like hanging out, emailing, and talking. You need to get it and stop contacting me. 

Pathetic Guy Chronicles: Just Shut the F*%k Up Already

And yet… he STILL doesn’t get it.

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From: Pathetic Guy
Date: August 2, 2011 3:37:38 PM EDT

I know you don’t want to talk, but thought you may be interestd in this event.

Announcing a new Meetup! I wanted to do that…Just not alone!!
Let’s spend the day at Governor’s Island
When: Saturday, August 27, 201112:30 PM
Where:Governor’s Island Ferry Terminal 10 South

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Yeah… I think I’ll be passing on that one. I do love Governor’s Island, but how much do I want to bet that he’ll be there waiting for me? Psycho….

Pathetic Guy Chronicles: Am I speaking Dutch here?

This guy clearly doesn’t understand what I’m telling him. He’s like herpes - just when you think you’ve cleared it up, it’s baaaacckkkk!

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From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 26, 2011 6:12 PM EDT
Thanks for responding back to me but it still hurts to know I’m losing the possibility of having a great friend. I know what I did was wrong

but believe I could be an amazing friend to you as well, that could listen to you when you need someone and make you laugh. We had many many many hours of conversations that were fun. Yes, I know I’ve said and acted like a jerk, I’m not perfect and can be immature at times.

I really appreciate your friendship and even though I only know you a short time, I ask you not to give up on a possible friendship so fast. Please let me have the opportunity to show you that I am better than this and can give you the friendship you deserve.

I wouldn’t be emailing you this much and calling if I didn’t think it was important, but I enjoyed those times we spoke and I know we can have those times again.

Pathetic Guy Chronicles: The Emotionally Unstable

So, just when I hoped it was over… it wasn’t. Welcome to the life of the emotionally unstable.  When we last left our heroine...

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Email #1 - response to the last email I sent him before I wrote the kiss off letter. This was the email I sent the night before, before my “don’t contact” me email:

So how many times should I apologize? 5 times, 50 times, a 100 times?? What’s gonna be the trick here, Pathetic Guy? I already told you I was sorry and I explained why - and I meant every word. What do you want me to say??

This was his response to the email above:
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 8:59 AM
Well first of all stop acting like this-I don’t find it too nice and let’s end the snipping sarcasm. You know what you did was wrong.

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From the Peanut Gallery: What on earth did I do to this guy?? He acts like I took his virginity and never called the next day.

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Pathetic Guy Chronicles: The Response I sent

Note: this was imported from my tumblr blog.  Originally posted on July 28, 2011

After working through my anger, this was the response I came up with, like an actual adult.

From: Me
Date: July 26, 2011 12:12 AM EDT
To: Pathetic Guy
Subject: And done.

Pathetic Guy, it’s really a shame that we couldn’t manage to be friends.  I’ve apologized for our date more than I should have, in my opinion.  That’s what dating is, dinner, conversation, flirting, kissing - we try people on to see if they fit.  But we did not fit.  And I was disappointed that there wasn’t more between us too, which I expressed to you.  This is exactly why I told you my feelings honestly and didn’t go out with you again.  And thank goodness, because if you’re having this much trouble getting over one date, I can’t imagine you getter over more than that.  However, you have not been able to let that one date go.  You have made it your mission to, what I can only assume is, to try to either make me feel bad, guilt me into being with you, or me admitting something that would be a lie.  Honestly, I haven’t exactly figured out what your motivation is to constantly bringing it up and making it an issue after we’ve discussed it at length.  But it’s not my issue, it’s yours.  And you need to figure it out on your own and without me.

Pathetic Guy Chronicles: The Response I Wish I had the Balls to Send

Note: this was imported from my tumblr blog.  Originally posted on July 28, 2011

Dear Pathetic Guy,
You know, I felt really bad about telling you that we had no chemistry because I really liked who you were as a person.  And you just couldn’t be a man and let it go!  I’ve been trying to be really nice about all of this because I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than I had to.  But now, all of my feelings have been confirmed by your petty, immature, and desperate actions.  So you want it, here it is!  This is exactly why I had NO chemistry with you:

• You’re clearly petty and desperate - which is why you keep bringing this shit up
• You spit when you talk
• You also have yellow buck teeth - I would spend a little less money on traveling a little more money on that

The Pathetic Guy Chronicles: The Tantrum

Note: this was imported from my tumblr blog.  Originally posted on July 28, 2011

Just when I thought I'd never hear from Pathetic Guy again, he came in like a hurricane... rain, wind, and then the storm!  I'm always saying that I attract crazy people, but I don't think people actually understand what I'm talking about.  It's not that we don't get along, or that he has quirks, they are REALLY NUTS!  Let the crazy begin...

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From: Pathetic Guy

Date: July 25, 2011 11:37 AM
Went speed-dating with a friend yesterday and he got 2 matches, while I got none :(

The Pathetic Guy Chronicles: Some people just don't get it...

Note: this was imported from my tumblr blog.  Originally posted on July 28, 2011

Recently I met a guy through Meetup.com.  It’s not a dating site, it’s a social site where you do things with people that you might have in common - like book club, cards, museums, etc.  We talked on the phone a bit and then had ONE date.  The date was not all I had hoped it to be and I just didn’t feel any chemistry with him.  The next day, I came to the conclusion that I could not go out with him anymore.  I didn’t want to lead him on because I liked who he was as a person and actually wanted to be friends with him.  So a few days before our next date, I told him just that.  He seemed to take it well, until a couple days later when I received an email from him.  This is the email exchange that we had.  And yes, this is the kind of guy I attract… (His name has been changed to protect this pathetic guy’s identity).

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From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 15, 2011 9:31 AM

Hi, I was actually out sick yesterday & went to dr.  Did you wind up going in yesterday?  I have to be honest, I’m kinda annoyed with you, doesn’t mean that’ll last forever, but looking back to the date, there’s some things I find bothersome.