I have been struggling with friends and men that I've been dating with the concept of a "tentative plan." Yes, tentative plans are not solid plans, but they are STILL plans. So when someone says to you, "Yeah, let's do something this weekend," or "I'd love to do that, I'll let you know." Why is it acceptable for them to NOT tell you? Just because they didn't say, "yes, I'll be there a 100%?" No, you're reserving that time, RSVP mother fucker!
A couple of years ago, a very passive aggressive fight started between me and one of my best friends over a concert in Central Park. He said he wanted to go and would let me know. The day of, I still hadn't heard from him. I called and let him know that I didn't appreciate him blowing me off. His argument was that he hadn't said that he was definitely coming. Mine was that he partially committed to it, and was going to let me know and didn't, and that I'm not a fucking mind reader. Make a phone call, please.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Pathetic Guy Chronicles: Restraining order, anyone?
O-M-G! There are no words.
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Wed, Aug 10 at 2:29 PM
Hi, would like to resume talking, at least via email for now.
From the Peanut Gallery: Um… uh... wha... Crazy muther f@*ker!
From: Me
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 4:26 PM
Pathetic Guy, what the hell?? I cannot figure out why you absolutely refuse to accept all of this! I don’t want to be friends with you. And that includes any activities that fall under a friendship, like hanging out, emailing, and talking. You need to get it and stop contacting me.
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Wed, Aug 10 at 2:29 PM
Hi, would like to resume talking, at least via email for now.
From the Peanut Gallery: Um… uh... wha... Crazy muther f@*ker!
From: Me
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 4:26 PM
Pathetic Guy, what the hell?? I cannot figure out why you absolutely refuse to accept all of this! I don’t want to be friends with you. And that includes any activities that fall under a friendship, like hanging out, emailing, and talking. You need to get it and stop contacting me.
Pathetic Guy Chronicles: Just Shut the F*%k Up Already
And yet… he STILL doesn’t get it.
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: August 2, 2011 3:37:38 PM EDT
I know you don’t want to talk, but thought you may be interestd in this event.
Yeah… I think I’ll be passing on that one. I do love Governor’s Island, but how much do I want to bet that he’ll be there waiting for me? Psycho….
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: August 2, 2011 3:37:38 PM EDT
I know you don’t want to talk, but thought you may be interestd in this event.
Announcing a new Meetup! I wanted to do that…Just not alone!!
Let’s spend the day at Governor’s Island
When: Saturday, August 27, 201112:30 PM
Where:Governor’s Island Ferry Terminal 10 South
Yeah… I think I’ll be passing on that one. I do love Governor’s Island, but how much do I want to bet that he’ll be there waiting for me? Psycho….
Pathetic Guy Chronicles: The Last Word
Wow, someone really needs to get in that last word. I guess telling him not to contact me anymore several times was just a suggestion to him?!?
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: August 1, 2011 11:19 AM EDT
Subject: i’m sorry again
I got your last email, I’m sorry to hear that. I hope one day you will want to talk again, because I think you’d be an awesome friend to have and a great wing gal.
From the Peanut Gallery: Sigh…
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: August 1, 2011 11:19 AM EDT
Subject: i’m sorry again
I got your last email, I’m sorry to hear that. I hope one day you will want to talk again, because I think you’d be an awesome friend to have and a great wing gal.
From the Peanut Gallery: Sigh…
Pathetic Guy Chronicles: Am I speaking Dutch here?
This guy clearly doesn’t understand what I’m telling him. He’s like herpes - just when you think you’ve cleared it up, it’s baaaacckkkk!
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 26, 2011 6:12 PM EDT
Thanks for responding back to me but it still hurts to know I’m losing the possibility of having a great friend. I know what I did was wrong
but believe I could be an amazing friend to you as well, that could listen to you when you need someone and make you laugh. We had many many many hours of conversations that were fun. Yes, I know I’ve said and acted like a jerk, I’m not perfect and can be immature at times.
I really appreciate your friendship and even though I only know you a short time, I ask you not to give up on a possible friendship so fast. Please let me have the opportunity to show you that I am better than this and can give you the friendship you deserve.
I wouldn’t be emailing you this much and calling if I didn’t think it was important, but I enjoyed those times we spoke and I know we can have those times again.
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 26, 2011 6:12 PM EDT
Thanks for responding back to me but it still hurts to know I’m losing the possibility of having a great friend. I know what I did was wrong
but believe I could be an amazing friend to you as well, that could listen to you when you need someone and make you laugh. We had many many many hours of conversations that were fun. Yes, I know I’ve said and acted like a jerk, I’m not perfect and can be immature at times.
I really appreciate your friendship and even though I only know you a short time, I ask you not to give up on a possible friendship so fast. Please let me have the opportunity to show you that I am better than this and can give you the friendship you deserve.
I wouldn’t be emailing you this much and calling if I didn’t think it was important, but I enjoyed those times we spoke and I know we can have those times again.
Pathetic Guy Chronicles: The Emotionally Unstable
So, just when I hoped it was over… it wasn’t. Welcome to the life of the emotionally unstable. When we last left our heroine...
Email #1 - response to the last email I sent him before I wrote the kiss off letter. This was the email I sent the night before, before my “don’t contact” me email:
So how many times should I apologize? 5 times, 50 times, a 100 times?? What’s gonna be the trick here, Pathetic Guy? I already told you I was sorry and I explained why - and I meant every word. What do you want me to say??
This was his response to the email above:
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 8:59 AM
Well first of all stop acting like this-I don’t find it too nice and let’s end the snipping sarcasm. You know what you did was wrong.
From the Peanut Gallery: What on earth did I do to this guy?? He acts like I took his virginity and never called the next day.
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 8:59 AM
Well first of all stop acting like this-I don’t find it too nice and let’s end the snipping sarcasm. You know what you did was wrong.
From the Peanut Gallery: What on earth did I do to this guy?? He acts like I took his virginity and never called the next day.
Pathetic Guy Chronicles: The Response I sent
Note: this was imported from my tumblr blog. Originally posted on July 28, 2011
After working through my anger, this was the response I came up with, like an actual adult.
From: Me
Date: July 26, 2011 12:12 AM EDT
To: Pathetic Guy
Subject: And done.
Date: July 26, 2011 12:12 AM EDT
To: Pathetic Guy
Subject: And done.
Pathetic Guy, it’s really a shame that we couldn’t manage to be friends. I’ve apologized for our date more than I should have, in my opinion. That’s what dating is, dinner, conversation, flirting, kissing - we try people on to see if they fit. But we did not fit. And I was disappointed that there wasn’t more between us too, which I expressed to you. This is exactly why I told you my feelings honestly and didn’t go out with you again. And thank goodness, because if you’re having this much trouble getting over one date, I can’t imagine you getter over more than that. However, you have not been able to let that one date go. You have made it your mission to, what I can only assume is, to try to either make me feel bad, guilt me into being with you, or me admitting something that would be a lie. Honestly, I haven’t exactly figured out what your motivation is to constantly bringing it up and making it an issue after we’ve discussed it at length. But it’s not my issue, it’s yours. And you need to figure it out on your own and without me.
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