Note: this was imported from my tumblr blog. Originally posted on July 28, 2011
Recently I met a guy through Meetup.com. It’s not a dating site, it’s a social site where you do things with people that you might have in common - like book club, cards, museums, etc. We talked on the phone a bit and then had ONE date. The date was not all I had hoped it to be and I just didn’t feel any chemistry with him. The next day, I came to the conclusion that I could not go out with him anymore. I didn’t want to lead him on because I liked who he was as a person and actually wanted to be friends with him. So a few days before our next date, I told him just that. He seemed to take it well, until a couple days later when I received an email from him. This is the email exchange that we had. And yes, this is the kind of guy I attract… (His name has been changed to protect this pathetic guy’s identity).
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 15, 2011 9:31 AM
Hi, I was actually out sick yesterday & went to dr. Did you wind up going in yesterday? I have to be honest, I’m kinda annoyed with you, doesn’t mean that’ll last forever, but looking back to the date, there’s some things I find bothersome.
From: Me
Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:13 AM
I’m sorry you were sick yesterday. What was wrong with you? I hope you’re feeling better today.
I was out sick yesterday too, my tension headache morphed into a migraine and so I was miserable all night and day. But I’m feeling amazing now.
I’m sorry that you’re feeling annoyed about our date. I’m not really sure what more I can say about it. I thought I was very honest with you the other night in explaining my feelings as well as apologetic for hurting you in anyway. I will completely understand if you need to take some time to move past it so that we can be friends. Feel free to take the time that you need and, if or when you want to have a friendship, I’ll be here to do that.
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 15, 2011 10:16 AM
Date: July 15, 2011 10:16 AM
I have a very bad cold. I’m glad your headache went away.
What bothers me the most is that we kissed quite a bit and I’m confused as to why you would continually kiss me, if you felt no chemistry from the 1st time we kissed?
From: Me
Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:22 AM
Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:22 AM
Summer colds suck.
I did explain this the other night to you, that I was really hoping I would eventually feel that chemistry with you. I really did want to have that chemistry with you. Unfortunately, it was just never there.
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 15, 2011 10:23 AM
But still, we kissed quite a lot and at the end you put your arms around me-didn’t you know by that time, there was no chemistry present?
From the peanut gallery: Yeah… I never put my arms around him and we didn’t kiss “a lot,” maybe 5 times. And 4 of those times I was trying to get away from him - because he’s an awful kisser.
From: Me
Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:30 AM
Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:30 AM
Pathetic Guy, I’m not sure what more you want me to say about this. I don’t know any other way to explain it to you than what I’ve already said.
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 15, 2011 10:31AM
Date: July 15, 2011 10:31AM
I’m not trying to beat a dead horse, but we kissed a lot, it’s not like we kissed once or twice and that was that. That’s what doesn’t sit well with me.
From the peanut gallery: I’m pretty sure he thinks the phrase “beating a dead horse” is literal. I fear for any nearby farm animals.
From: Me
Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:42 AM
Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:42 AM
Pathetic Guy, I’m sorry if you felt that I led you on. It wasn’t my intension to do that. As I explained, I really like you and I wanted those feelings to be there. And all night I kept thinking, it’ll be there this time. I can’t go back and change any of that now. I feel like I’ve been really honest with you about it. At this point, I’m not really sure what more I can say about it. I don’t know what I can say to make you feel better about it. I wish there was.
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 15, 2011 10:48 AM
Date: July 15, 2011 10:48 AM
I do feel a bit led on. I do appreciate your honesty and we can be friends, it’s just not the easiest as I really liked you.
From: Me
Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:58 AM
Sent: Friday, July 15, 2011 10:58 AM
Well, I do hope that you can move past it. I do understand your disappointment. Like I said, if you need some time, I’m okay with that. I would like to have a friendship with you too. And when you’re comfortable with that, I’ll be here to do that.
From: Pathetic Guy
Date: July 15, 2011 11:00 AM
Date: July 15, 2011 11:00 AM
Of course I’ll move past this, it was only one date and we can be friends. Like I said what bothers me most was all the signs seemed there that made it seem like you were interested, I’d rather the signs had not been there.
From the peanut gallery: Maybe he also thinks “moving past it” is literal.
From: Me
Date: July 15, 2011 11:01 AM
Well, I’m glad that you feel like you can move past it.
From the peanut gallery: Sense the sarcasm, asshole and just shut the fuck up about it already!
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