Note: this was imported from my tumblr blog. Originally posted on July 28, 2011
Dear Pathetic Guy,
You know, I felt really bad about telling you that we had no chemistry because I really liked who you were as a person. And you just couldn’t be a man and let it go! I’ve been trying to be really nice about all of this because I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than I had to. But now, all of my feelings have been confirmed by your petty, immature, and desperate actions. So you want it, here it is! This is exactly why I had NO chemistry with you:
You know, I felt really bad about telling you that we had no chemistry because I really liked who you were as a person. And you just couldn’t be a man and let it go! I’ve been trying to be really nice about all of this because I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than I had to. But now, all of my feelings have been confirmed by your petty, immature, and desperate actions. So you want it, here it is! This is exactly why I had NO chemistry with you:
- You’re clearly petty and desperate - which is why you keep bringing this shit up
- You spit when you talk
- You also have yellow buck teeth - I would spend a little less money on traveling a little more money on that
- You fist your fork like a 4 year old that just learned to hold a utensil
- You kept interrupting me and telling corny jokes which made it difficult to hold a conversation, and they were juvenile and unrelated to what I was talking about
- You kept bringing up old jokes that weren’t even funny any more
- You didn’t eat or drink all night - weird
- You chew on your hand - disgusting
- You kept caressing my cheek while I was eating and having a conversation with you, which was creepy
- You threw our leftovers into the sidewalk rather than looking for a trash can
- You picked a time to kiss me where there was no intimate moment, it was like you were just doing it to do it
AND honestly, I was willing to let all of that go and chalk all of that up to nerves on your part, but this was the kicker…
- And last but not least, you’re a TERRIBLE kisser - you kept mashing you teeth into me and your tongue was like a limp fish in my mouth. It was like kissing someone who had never kissed before. And if you’re a bad kisser, then I can just imagine all the other things your bad at.
- And 20 - 30 times - a HUGE exaggeration. It was about 5 times. And YOU kissed me. And after the first couple of times, I kept pulling away from you, but you were holding onto my face with a death grip. Even when I tried to give you some physical hints about kissing, you were all about what YOU were doing and not paying any attention to me or my body language.
And just you clearly understand this, it’s not them, it is YOU!
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