Alright! Here we go! My first weight in, it's gonna be great! I waited patiently to hear the words I had longed to hear all week, "You've lost ... pounds." All my hard work, dedication, and positive attitude was going pay of right here.
"Ok, you stayed the same," the Weight Watchers desk worker told me. She smiled kindly and handed back my booklet.
"What?" I asked, dumbfounded. "The same??"
"Yep, exactly the same," she said again.
"How can that be? How does anyone stay exactly the same? I didn't lose or gain even an ounce?" I was shocked, how was this humanly possible?? I had done everything right! I stuck to the points everyday, I didn't skip them, just like they told me. I was drinking so much water I almost needed to put a private bathroom into my office or invest in some depends. I had added 30 more minutes a day to my walking routine. I was getting my dairy, lean meats, veggies, healthy oils, everything... I had done everything right! But yet, nothing! No reward for all my good efforts.
I was so disappointed and frustrated, and apparently it showed. Robert, my Weight Watcher's leader joined in with the woman behind the desk to console me. "Nicole, don't get so down on yourself! It was your first week, and you did everything right. Sometimes it just takes time for your body to adjust. And, Honey, it's not like you gained!" I wanted to tell him I might have well gained, but that seemed a little dramatic and bratty, even for me!
I swallowed my pride and sat down for the meeting. As much as I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about my failure through out the meeting and I couldn't figure out how to shake it off. Robert talked, other people talked, but I didn't hear anything but my own thoughts. Why was this so hard to swallow??
I tried harder to focus on what was going on in the meeting. They were celebrating accomplishments. So-and-so lost 3.5 lbs! Clap clap clap! Ugh, what a jerk. So-and-so hit their 10%! Clap clap clap! Ugh, eye roll. So-and-so is under 200 lbs for the first time in 10 years. Ugh, I hated them all! What made these people successful this week and not me?!?
Gasp! What was wrong with me?? Why was I so hateful and ugly all of a sudden? And then it hit me! I felt like these people had beat me at some sort of weight loss game, and I wanted to win damn it! I wanted to the best little weight watcher you ever did see! Pounds were gonna come off of me so fast you wouldn't be able to keep up! I was going to show everyone how it was done! And this week I felt like I had lost at my own game. My competitive edge was getting the worst of me, and it was taking me away from all the positive things I had accomplished this week. I had to do something fast!
I quickly raised my hand. "Nicole, what are you celebrating this week?" Robert asked.
"I quit smoking two weeks ago today and I started Weight Watchers at the same time," I said proudly. Finally, some pride that felt fashionable to wear. I had done that and it felt good! Everyone clapped and decided I deserved two gold bravo stars, and that felt good too.
I had quickly forgotten that this whole experience isn't just about losing weight, but about trading bad habits in for good ones and an overall healthy re-haul of my life. I had been doing that too. My diet was improved and I was being diligent about my serving sizes and getting all my dairy, water, healthy fats, fruits and veggies, and meats in. Gold star! I had been more active, walking the dog longer, riding my bike, taking the stairs. Gold star! I had started sewing, crocheting, home repairs, playing with my dog more, instead of smoking and drinking my evening cocktails. Gold star! So I didn't lose any weight this week, but I did lose a few bad habits and that made me a winner indeed. Double gold star!
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