And away we go!

Whew!  Well, I survived my first weigh in.  The last couple of days I was mentally preparing myself for the worst.  That number was terrifying me but I was determined to know it, accept it, and own it.  I decided to make it a good morning and start the day off positive before I took a blow to my ego.  I woke up early, drank a nice big cup of joe, played with the dog, and went to the farmer's market with two of my lovely RAs.  It was a great way to spend any Saturday morning, but now it was time to face the music.


I walked through the damp New York city streets with my head held high even though my nerves were creeping up on me.  For 7 blocks I kept reminding myself, "It's going to be ok.  It's just a number.  It's a reality I have to face.  And today we're gonna work to change it."  It was my mantra for the morning.  I had prepared myself for the worst.  I was going to be okay no matter what that scale read - 270, 280, even 300.  It didn't change anything because it was already my reality.   

I nervously shoved my paperwork forward to the pleasant woman with a kind smile, Juanita, behind the counter.  I got on the scale and Juanita put a little sticker in my book and handed back.  Why isn't she saying anything?  Aren't they supposed to tell me my weight?  Oh god, it's that bad.  It's so bad she doesn't want to say it out loud.  I took my book and realized I had 15 minutes until the meeting started.  The weight of that book in my hand seemed up bearable.  So I shoved it into my purse and began nervously browsing through the books and other Weight Watcher's swag.  I even popped into the yoga studio across the hall and picked up a schedule.  


I came back a few minutes later and the place was hopping.  I took a seat, pulled my materials from my purse, and opened the book...  257 lbs.  Huh.  Ok, so it wasn't as bad as I had prepared for in fact, it was a HUGE relief just to know.  So that was it.  257 lbs... ok, it's not great, but it's manageable.  And I'm working to making it less.  My first goal is 244 lbs and I'm gonna get there before I know it!

I stayed through the meeting, which was very inspiring.  And stayed through the beginners meeting as well, even though I knew what I was doing.  I took notes like a good little student.  I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do this the right way this time.  My team leader, Robert, left us with something really terrific today, "Destiny is a matter of choice, not chance."  Wow, isn't that the truth!